One of my best friends from high school was murdered last week. Let that sink in for a minute.
Murdered. By her boyfriend. With his bare hands. And left there to die. At 25 years old.
I want to yell and scream and cry and see this coward pay for what he did. I hadn’t talked to Kayla in 2 years. We had an argument after another friend died and hadn’t spoken since. And oddly, I don’t feel guilt about it. I think she knows how I felt about her when we got along and that sometimes she might be too much to take. I also think she grew up A LOT in those two years. I hardly knew the woman they talked about today, the one who was called to work at SPARC and how much she loved her clients. I would have liked to have known that Kayla. We always had a lot of fun in high school and for the last almost week, I’ve been reliving most of them. I was behind a car on the way to the funeral who was taking forever to turn and I yelled, “make it a career!” and had to laugh, because I got that from Kayla. We were leaving lunch and the driveway was more like a short curb, which made me think of when we went to Baskin Robbins after a basketball game and she drove off a stepped curb when leaving. All 3 of us in the car yelled CURB!! and it stayed a joke for a long time. That and that I didn’t like nuts (on my sundae!!). I remember the time we were driving somewhere and saw a billboard for Mariah’s restaurant and the eagle on the picture was almost as big as the restaurant. When I wrote on the balloon last night, I told her to watch out for eagles up there. =) We have tons of other memories that haven’t come back yet.
I want to yell and scream at the thing that did this. The paper said he showed no emotion while having the charges read to him in court. That doesn’t surprise me after what he did. He was apparently sentenced as an adult at 13 (for attempted murder) and was just released in 2008. I’m hoping on hope that she didn’t know that before they started dating.
I don’t even know what to say or what to feel right now. I know other people are going through it, but I feel alone. Like I’m going to have to deal with this on my own. I know that’s not true, but I don’t ask for help, and it’s just hard.
I don’t ever want to go through this again. Ever. I thought the last one was hard, this was worse.